Friendship - a two way street

Friends don't get pushy and take advantage
of other friends.

Friends respectfully return emails, phone
calls, and text messages.

Friends don't demand you be available at
a certain time.

Friends take the time to listen as much
as they take the time to talk.

Friends respect your need for privacy or
to be quiet.

Friends don't get mad if you're having
an off day.

Friends make time, even if it's inconvenient
for them.

Friends don't lie or put on airs.

Friends root for you when the chips are down.

There comes a point

There comes a point in your life when you realize: Who matters, Who never did, Who won't anymore... And who always will. So, don't worry about people from your past, There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

Friends

Friends.
Most of us have them.
They come in good friends, best friends, acquaintances,
work friends, internet friends, casual friends, partying
friends, family friends.

What make a really good friend?

Time and trust for one thing. That's the obvious.

To me, a really good friend must have passed the
'tests'. I really don't know what the 'tests' are
until they happen, but I have them. Once I have
a really good friend I would save that friend from
drowning before myself, and they are stuck with me
for life :)

A test, a really true test of a good friend is
something, anything, to indicate they think you are
special, basically without them even knowing they
did - they just do it naturally like breathing.

A really good friend did just that recently - she
is planning on leaving her area for several months
later this year....I was planning on going OUT
to her area later this year. She asked me when
my trip was planned (it's not, waiting on an
airline schedule). Once I told her about what
month it would be when I was there, I asked her if
she was even going to be in the state - she replied
that she planned on leaving around that time, but
would decide after I decided when I was coming,
so she would definitely be there when I was there.
And I stress the casualness of the whole conversation,
not doing it to look good or to suck up, just a
fact that my trip out of the country will be
scheduled once you tell me when you are coming.

THAT is the sign of a true, lifelong friend.

Another sign is the friend that will get up to
do something for you when in reality they don't
have to. How to explain this - like you sit down
with the friend and comment, oh I forgot to get
some coffee. That friend jumps up and brings you
coffee. Do they have to? NO. Do they want to?
YES. No false pretenses, just being who they are.
OF COURSE we must be a good friend in return
for this to ever work. I'm speaking from a
one sided view only. Basically a true friend is
one that is not afraid to do some special little
things, to show they care and think you are special.

You find a true friend like mentioned above and
you do whatever it takes to keep them!! I have
several and I try very very hard to be a good friend
in return. I care and intend to stay friends till
the day I die!

Friendship

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

An oldie but a goodie

>> A Woman and a Fork>>>> There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness>> and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her>> things "in order," she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her>> house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.>>>> She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what>> scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be>> buried in.>>>> Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the>> young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.>>>> "There's one more thing," she said excitedly.>>>> "What's that?" came the Pastor's reply.>>>> "This is very important," the young woman continued. "I want to be>> buried with a fork in my right hand.">>>> The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to >> say.>>>> That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked.>>>> "Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the Pastor.>>>> The young woman explained. "My grandmother once told me this story,>> and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to>> those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my>> years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when>> the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would>> inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite>> part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety>> chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with>> substance!'>> So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in>> my hand and I want them to wonder "What's with the fork?" Then I want>> you to tell them: "Keep your fork, the best is yet to come.">>>> The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young>> woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would>> see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a>> better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what>> heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as>> much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was>> coming.>>>> At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and>> they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right>> hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, "What's with the>> fork?" And over and over he smiled.>>>> During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he>> had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them>> about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people>> how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they>> probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was>> right. So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind>> you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come..>>>>>>>> Friends are a very rare jewel , indeed, They make you smile and>> encourage you to succeed . They lend an ear, they share a word of>> praise , and they always want to open their hearts to us.>>>> Show your friends how much you care. Remember to always be there for>> them, even when you need them more. For you never know when it may be>> their time to "Keep your fork.">> Cherish the time you have , and the memories you share .>> Being friends with someone is not an opportunity but a sweet >> responsibility..

True Friend

So maddening

Maddening to find out people are not who they pretend to be.
Now that's something I rarely experienced in NM. But it's
commonplace in the midwest and upper midwest, that I know.
No, I don't mean everyone :) I resent highly being used
and lied to, but hey, dump 'em and move on right? That's
fine till one finds out more and more proof what an a$$
they are, and even more ways they lied. Then
I have a minor setback :) But hey, life still goes on and
living well is the best revenge! (So is watching that person's
mediocre career flush down the toilet, which I will
enjoy thoroughly, but I'm not bitter!).

Keep smiling, keep shining

I read a blog regularly from a young woman who
was recently widowed. She has two young children.
She talks about some of the dear friends who come
through for her. I can relate.

As mentioned before, I was widowed at the age of
24 after living only one year in southern Colorado.
I was left with a business and a HUGE debt load.
The people there were wonderful, some of the
best people on earth. I will always remember those
that supported me and helped me during those
trying years. The thing with me is, I won't ask for
help or tell someone what I want. So the only way
to actually do anything for me is to just go ahead and
take charge. But this is touchy as I'm picky and set
in my ways. A person must earn my respect before
I let them take charge of anything in my life.
These people did the RIGHT things, and
I owe them so much!

Hap - mentioned in an earlier post.

Dr. F - She bent over backwards for me. She scheduled
appointments bi monthly with made up reasons. We
spent many days just talking...not about anything
in particular, just talking. It was a wonderful break
in my day, my health stayed up to par, and my stress
level was down.

K - A wonderful strong woman who owns her own
funeral home. K would just show up around noonish
at least once a week and tell me to get in the car
for lunch. If I was busy doing something she would plop
herself down and put herself to work answering phones,
typing copy, whatever needed done. We had many
a lunch over mexican food discussing the various
methods of embalming people :) K had the best
jokes in the world (she said people grieve in strange
ways) and the cutest kids in the world (until I had
my own). She often told people that we were sisters.

L - This person would call me up to 4 times a day -
every morning around 8, about noon, around 4,
then in the evening.

The best employees in the world - Wow we had fun
at times. We knew when to work and we knew when
to play. We threw a frisbee around out back where
the tower is, we would go out drinking or throwing
darts, we'd eat dinner together, we'd talk. I can't
say enough about the support I had from the crew
I had then, wonderful people! I've kept in contact
with a few of them.

These are just a few of the reasons I made the decision
to stay in Colorado (instead of moving back to
Indiana). Paths cross our life every single day, and
we must make choices. We either live with the results
of those choices or we backtrack and try to get
to that crossed path again. I have never been afraid
of the unknown or of change and I love learning new
cultures and also new experiences.

Congratulations Ron!

Our friend Ron Schmeits was elected president of

the National Rifle Association yesterday. I've

known Ron personally as a friend for over 20

years. My husband and I were both friends

with Ron before we ever met each other. Spent

Thanksgivings at his house, baby sat his dog Lacey,

enjoyed many a dinner together, and even worked

for him for a time. Oh and I once took a shower

at his house - haha! What happened was the

motor went out on our furnace the coldest night

of the year, and we froze pipes and thus no water.

Ron was at work but told me where the key was

to go in and take a shower, which I did and it

was wonderful at the time - hot water! I hope

I thanked him for that! Anyway Ron and his

wife Ann are very generous each year to our

young un and we are most appreciative. We

are very proud of Ron and wish him the best

as the new NRA President!

A shoutout to my peeps!

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!
A great big thank you for those helping me with
that news hottie contest - We are still in round 3
but we brought one of my picks back from the dead,
despite the 'idiot' spending a couple of hours on his
computer voting him down! Let me recap:

Round 2 ended Saturday. A certain person, a news
person who has won it the past two years, lost on
Saturday. What happened was uhm, he was busy
Friday night and then little peeps went and spent hours
voting for his competition. He was up most of Friday
night getting himself back up over 50%. So he crashed
for a few hours and I was able to get him back down
in percentage again. Then he woke up and Twittered
to his followers - over 400 of them, to vote for him
ten times in a row Saturday morning. So I was on
there canceling out his votes, then suddenly they
ended the round and he lost - hahahahahahahaha!

NOW he wants his co-worker gone. He's jealous that
the co-worker is still in the running and he is not.
So it's back to battle of the computers! Talk about
a whiny brat. The thing he and his other workers
are forgetting is that amongst all the fighting and
jealousy with each other, there are viewers out
here who can manipulate the contest. It's all
perfectly legal and fair, we're just countering his
moves. So if we can PLEASE get round three over
I am formulating plans for the next two rounds.

ALSO!
I have some horribly big news concerning me and
my family, but I cannot make it 'public' as of yet.
Oh but I wanna!! LOL. Big changes coming up
eventually - probably a two year plan. It's AWESOME
news as far as I am concerned, but even if I
told you I cannot tell you why or it would pi$$
some people off - LOL! Stay tuned!

Hap

I have many dear friends that have passed away.
I was thinking about one of them tonite.
Hap.
Hap was a friend of my first husband. Hap owned
and ran a little-bit-of-everything store in Colorado -
he sold furniture, bicycles, hardware, school
supplies, candy, pictures, cleaning products, you
name it he had it! He looked like Art Carney,
complete with the hat and all :)

After my husband passed away and I returned to
Colorado, I had much wonderful support from
some of the greatest people I ever had the pleasure
of knowing. I remember them all to this day,
although I don't keep in contact with many of
them, and others have passed on.

Upon my return to Colorado, Hap would call me
early in the week and just ask me what time did
I want him to pick me up on Friday. "WHAT?"
Every Friday I was available, he'd pick me up.
We'd go out to dinner, sometimes on to drinking
and dancing. NEVER ONCE did he ever try to
hit on me or anything. We took turns paying
(my insistence) and we had a blast. He was
partial to chinese food, although he'd order steak and
drink coffee there :) On Mother's Day he insisted
on taking both me and my mother in law out
to dinner, as he said he missed his own mother
on that day. After I met my current significant
other, we all three still would go out sometimes,
thought not as often, my bad as my priorities
and schedule changed. And all three of us
enjoyed ourselves immensely! I really don't
remember how old Hap was, I know he looked
a bit older than his actual age.

Hap was brutally bludgeoned to death by
an employee's son early one morning while
he was getting ready to drive to Denver to
pick up goods. The son and his accomplice
were found guilty and are in prison for this
murder. This was all about money - the
$3,000 cash Hap had on him to buy the
goods. Hap would have given the boy the
money if he asked. It was a senseless
and brutal death. His store was closed and
never reopened under that name.

In My Little Town

Have lived in a smaller community steadily
since 1987. When the nearest big city is
over 100 miles away, you become accustomed
to things others would miss! Here are some
of the things about small town life that would
drive someone from a bigger city bonkers if they
had to live here.

1. NO MALL. I cannot tell you the last time
I was in a mall. If I had to guess I would
say somewhere around 7 years ago in Pueblo.
And that mall is very small.

2. I have no idea what the latest movies are out
at the theater, or even how much it costs. Yes
we have movie theaters here, I have no idea
if the movies are current or not.

3. No Starbucks - Don't get addicted to latte or
some other strange food or drink, you won't
get it here.

4. No Red Lobster - Bummer.

5. Higher prices - on everything from vehicles, food,
clothing, medical. Surprised? Many people from
a bigger area assume that things are cheaper in
a smaller town. Take into consideration the added
cost of transporting goods to a small town. Or
the simple fact a (good) doctor's wife doesn't want
to live there. There is less competition for basic
services such as phone and trash so you are stuck
paying the price of the ones that serve your area.

6. Limited culture - to ballet, to arts, to finer foods, etc.

7. Limited knowledge available - Let's face it, small town
U.S.A. doesn't have a television station. The radio and
newspaper are sub par. You depend more on what you
actually see and actually hear.

8. No night life - Not much to do after 8ish. Most restaurants
will chase you out around 7.

9. More self reliance and independence - You depend on
each other or yourself for entertainment. You don't
live in an area that will bail you out in the event of an
emergency situation. And you learn to make do with
what you have.

10. People assume you don't know anything - it's true.
And the truth of the matter is you have more time to
learn and have more common sense than most other
people from bigger areas that depend on so much more
than you do.

2009 NY Resolution

I went over a week w/o a NY Resolution.
I don't usually make them. But I know what it is now.
To ditch all the dead weight people in my life. The
people that pretend to be your friend but aren't really.
The type of person that makes a big deal about all they
do for you, when in actuality they do nothing or just manage
to screw you up more than you already are. They never
apologize when they do anything wrong, but are quick to
point out your faults. The type of person that is very quick
to lean on you when something goes wrong in their life, but
when something is wrong in yours they tend to hide.
And lies. It took me 45 years to figure out that minor lies
on the part of a 'friend' are a sure sign of trouble. Watch out.
These type of friends want all the rules to be theirs, and make
no concession for what you want or need. They aren't really
your friend. They just say they are.

It's best to break it totally off. Cold turkey. Yes we learned to
depend on them emotionally (stupid people that we are) but
if we don't break it totally off there will just be more heartbreak
and hurt down the road. The road is long and hard enough
without asking for more trouble.

But it's still sad.