Ah this is a tough one isn't it?
I have been screwed over moreso than probably most.
Mainly because I am a go getter for what I want,
including the people in my life. I do have common
sense and lots of street smarts, so I've never (thank
God) been robbed or lost money or anything to that nature.
But many have done me wrong. Most wrong doing I forget
about (life isn't worth it) and move on, having little
or no contact with the person after that. But sometimes
you have to continue to have contact, or sometimes you
have no contact with them but are still reeling in
the injustice of it all, and have trouble getting past
that. Hate them forever? Hold a grudge? Be miserable
cuz someone did something wrong?
I hate very very few people. At present I would say
one person who is still alive I can honestly say I hate,
and will hate, for the rest of my life. Okay two...but
the second person doesn't even deserve hatred, pathetic
loser that the person is.
And as I've said I've been screwed by many people.
For one it helps me to realize that I've done stupid
stuff as well. We all do stupid stuff. Not always
intentional either. Who knows what I was thinking at
the time I did stupid stuff? For two karma is a bitch,
and it is a great (secret) pleasure to sit back and
watch karma in action on someone who did me wrong. Hehe.
Three - if someone did me wrong, moreso than not they
did someone else wrong, and that person or persons might
not be as fortunate as I am. Think about that, it's a
little deeper than the other stuff I'm saying. Four
life is short, I mean, REALLY short. Do I want to spend
it hating someone or holding a grudge? Not really.
Besides, living well is the best revenge of all :)
Relatives are tougher - if they are still alive I still
have to see them, interact with them to a point. I
learned in my 20's to put on a game face in any situation;
shake hands, smile, talk, whatever; and not mean a word
of it. I have one relative that I will be friendly to
him in front of the others but have nothing to do with
him in private - and I do have a reason. I have another
relative that I will banter and kid with but wouldn't
trust her one bit again. And these people pretty much
know what I think of them too. But then when I'm on
my own away from them I'm fine, not thinking about them
or worrying about them, not holding anything against them
to speak of but at the same time I wouldn't do much
for them if asked. I hope that made sense!!
I think the key here is to be at peace with oneself and
have a life outside of the circle that any of these people
are involved in. So one doesn't really give a rat's
butt what they think of you. Have several circles, that
way if one breaks you can jump in another one without
hesitation. I don't believe in allowing what someone
did in my childhood to affect me in my adulthood, now
that I'm in my 40's. Especially parents. Parents are
human too, and many times are ignorant about decisions
and child raising. I guess I didn't realize this until
I became a parent myself...we do the best we can as
parents and hope to hell the kid turns out okay and without
emotional baggage. But he'll go through that stage just
like we all did of questioning why I did something the
way I did, or worrying if his childhood was ruined because
of something. It happens.
Forgiveness. It's a tough one. While I write this on
forgiveness let it be known that I NEVER forget, I just
won't let the issue drag me down for long, otherwise they
continue winning throughout my life! Forgiveness.
